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Princess Bella Rosa's Memorial page
Princess Bella Rosa
Born February 4, 2004
Drowned August 23, 2004
My darling little Papillon drown in our above ground pool. As all parents, I thought I had child-dog proofed my entire home. We will never know what happened....why or how she ended up in the pool. But it was a horrible thing to find.
I have this page to let others know, that if you have a large water area...you need to make sure that there is a way out. Or that it is totally fenced in to protect them.
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Bella was my birthday present this year. I wasn’t sure that I wanted a dog that looked so fragile.
But within days it was true love. Not only for me, but also for all our family.
Bella loved to play. She had many toys…but one favorite. It was a baby rattle that she had taken from a keepsake box for Kaylee.
After she would get done playing with her giraffe, she would take it and hide it. You could look forever…and never find it. Till you asked her to go and get it. Rick came in while burying her, and looked for it to put with her….it was in his work boot.
Where ever I was so was my little Bella. Those big eyes looking at me to see I swear what I was thinking. She loved to sleep on a pillow on the couch. That is why we started calling her Princess Bella.
Bella loved to play. You would see her and Flattie the Basset running around in the yard..and Flattie would be doing everything to keep up with the little brat. I think Bella was laughing.
One of my favorite memories will be her talking. She would talk to you. Rick kept trying to teach her “I love you” and I honestly think she had it down. She always had something to say to daddy when he came home from work..I think it made his day…
She will be greatly missed. The grief is still so new that it feels like my heart is breaking. I would never have believed till now how a pet can become one with you. She was a gift from God, and I don’t know why He called her home so very soon…but I have to learn to accept it.
Good Bye my little Princess Bella…
Your gone but not forgotten
I will see you soon.
Mom
8-26-04
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Just this side of heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge.
When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge. There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run and play together. There is plenty of food, water and sunshine, and our friends are warm and comfortable.
All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigor. Those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by. The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing; they each miss someone very special to them, who had to be left behind.
They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. His bright eyes are intent. His eager body quivers. Suddenly he begins to run from the group, flying over the green grass, his legs carrying him faster and faster.
You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life but never absent from your heart.
Then you cross Rainbow Bridge together....
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A Dog Lovers Poem
I stood by your bed last night, I came to have a peep.
I could see that you were crying, you found it hard to sleep.
I whined to you softly as you brushed away a tear.
'It's me, I haven't left you, I'm well, I'm fine, I'm here."
I was close to you at breakfast, I watched you pour the tea,
You were thinking of the many times your hands reached down to me.
I was with you at the shops today, you're arms were getting sore.
I longed to take your parcels, I wished I could do more.
I was with you at my grave today you tend it with such care
I want to reassure you that I'm not lying there.
I walked with you towards the house as you fumbled for your key,
I gently put my paw on you, I smiled and said 'It's me.'
You looked so very tired and then you sank into a chair,
I tried so hard to let you know that I was standing there.
It's possible for me to be so near you everyday
To say to you with certainty , 'I never went away.'
You sat there very quietly, then smiled, I think you knew
That in that in the stillness of that evening I was very close to you.
The day is over ... I smile and watch you yawning
and say , 'Goodnight, sweet dreams, God bless,
I'll see you in the morning.'
And when the time is right for you to cross the brief divide
I'll rush to greet you and we'll stand together side by side.
I have so many things to show you, there's much for you to see.
Be patient, live your journey out
Then come home and be with me. "
Anonymous
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LOSS AND THE BURDEN OF GUILT
Even if there is no basis for it, we often feel guilty for what we did or didn't do to save a pet from a terminal illness or accidental death. We really do assume a god-like role in our pets' lives, taking complete responsibility for every aspect of their care. When something goes wrong, it's only natural that we feel responsible for that as well.
Guilt is a normal response to the perception that we've somehow failed in our duties and obligations or that we've done something wrong. It generates a whole mixture of feelings including shame, inadequacy, insecurity, failure, unworthiness, self judgment, anxiety and fear of punishment.
If your pet is diagnosed with a terminal illness, you may feel guilty for not having noticed symptoms sooner. You may feel guilty about your decision to euthanize your pet, thinking you should have let your pet live longer. Conversely, you may feel guilty that you didn't euthanize your pet soon enough, thinking you were selfish in your unwillingness to let the animal go. If your pet was critically hurt or killed in an accident, you may feel guilty that you didn't foresee it or prevent it.
Know that guilt is a normal part of grieving. It's only human to dwell on the what if's and if only's: "If only I'd done something differently, this never would've happened." Yet it's probably safe to say that, when your pet's accident, illness or death occurred, whatever happened was not intentional on your part. You were doing the best you could and, given the information available to you at the time, you were doing what you normally would have done. Harsh as it may seem, consider that even if you had done things differently, your pet still could have died in some other way the very next day! Sometimes we act as if we can control the random hazards of existence, even when we know that death is a fact of life.
Healthy guilt allows us to own up to and learn from our mistakes. It gives us a chance to make amends, to do things differently next time, to come to a better understanding of ourselves, to forgive ourselves.
What You Can Do That Helps
If you find yourself saddled with guilt over the loss of your cherished companion animal, here are some things you can do to get relief:
Listen to the messages you give yourself (the should have's, could have's and if only's), and realize the past is something you can do absolutely nothing about.
When guilty thoughts come to mind, disrupt them by telling yourself to stop thinking such thoughts. Say "STOP!" firmly, and out loud if you need to.
Live the next day or next week of your life as if you were guilt-free, knowing you can return to your guilt feelings any time you wish. Pick a start time, and stop yourself whenever you make any guilt-related statements.
Write down your guilt-related statements, set a date, and pledge that from that day forward you won't say them to yourself anymore. Post them and read them every day.
If you believe in God or a higher power, consider what He or She has to say about forgiveness.
Participate in a pet grief support group - it's a powerful way to obtain forgiveness and absolution from others.
Be your own best friend. What would you have said to your best friend if this had happened to that person? Can you say the same to yourself?
Memorialize your pet so he or she won't be forgotten.
Have a visit with your lost pet - or have the lost pet write a letter to you. What would your pet say to you about the guilt and sadness you've been carrying around?
Ask what it would take for you to forgive yourself. Can you begin doing it? Say out loud to yourself, "I forgive you." Say it several times a day.
Remember the good things you did in your relationship with your pet and all the loving care you gave. Write those things down, hold onto them and read them when you need to.
Channel your guilt into a worthwhile project. If you've learned a lesson from this loss, you may want to share your newfound knowledge with other pet owners, so that other animals won't meet with the same fate.
Go to this wonderful site if you have lost a loved one.
http://www.griefhealing.com/
Thank you Marty for being willing to share your wonderful site with mine.
Copyright (c) 2003 by Martha M. Tousley, RN, MS, CS All rights reserved
Thank you Alana for making the darling memorial poster of my baby Bella!
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